Complex Mix for a Rainy Day (1)

Black Sky - Sam Philips (Martinis & Bikinis)
Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears for Fears (Peter's Friends Soundtrack)
Symphony No. 5 in C Minor - Beethoven (Immortal Beloved soundtrack)
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster (Deluxe Version))
La Isla Bonita - Madonna (The Immaculate Collection)
Like A Prayer - Madonna (The Immaculate Collection)
Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper (Peter's Friends Soundtrack)
22 - Lily Allen (It's Not Me, It's You)
F**k You - Lily Allen (It's Not Me, It's You)
Teeth - Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster (Deluxe Version))
Don't Get Me Wrong - The Pretenders (Peter's Friends Soundtrack)
Summer Rain - Belinda Carlisle (Greatest Hits)
Mad About You - Belinda Carlisle (Greatest Hits)
April In Paris - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong (Forget Paris soundtrack)
Poker Face - Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster (Deluxe Version))
Just A Girl - No Doubt (Tragic Kingdom)
Nobody Knows Me At All - The Weepies (Say I Am You)
If I Didn't Care - Amy Adams & Lee Pace (Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day soundtrack)
Fur Elise - Beethoven (Immortal Beloved soundtrack)

Too zig-zaggy for some, no doubt. The indie music experts will probably have other songs they feel fit in or smooth out the flow. Suggestions are fine, but figure out where and why first. It only seems thrown together on the surface.

Haiku archive 1

Here are some haiku I've been posting over on Twitter in a convenient catchup archive.

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09/28/2009:
To sleep early
Escape from many trials
To wake in a dream

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01/17/2010:
Dreams of another world
Delicate cherry blossoms
Float away in rain

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02/26/2010:
All are avatars
Playing roles set down for us
but who is inside?

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02/26/2010:
Rain falling on sand
Vanishing without a trace
Mirage in the desert

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02/28/2010:
Curves subtly twisted
In silence no one can hear
Rose lost in the rain

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03/13/2010:
Looking through the window
The window in a locked door
Wishing it was open


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05/22/2010:
Neither white nor black
Twisted coils running off rails
Time outside of time

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05/22/2010:
Visible but not
Shadows of what might have been
Chances lost in mists

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05/22/2010:
The young self sees hope
The future self dreams what will be
The now self walks on

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05/25/2010:
Talking in the dark
Deeper truths can be clearer
Hidden by plain sight

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05/25/2010:
Rolling waves crashing
Grinding rock into wet sand
Salt filled hourglass

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05/25/2010:
Quiet babble sings
Swirling scents float on the wind
Rainbows of petals

The Perfections of Love Affair

I don't know that I would go so far to say that Love Affair (1994) is a perfect movie, as I'm pretty sure such a thing does not exist. There are a lot of perfect touches in it though, or at least bits and aspects of it that touch pieces of me. I like the other versions of the story, especially An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr who are two favorite actors for me, but this version is my favorite.

The music is pretty much perfectly matched to the movie throughout, both the songs and the excellent Morricone score. The casting is superb, with everyone playing their parts big or small in such a way that the whole story meshes together and no one is a distraction. I can't think of a single shot that does not mesh into and serve the story and it is a pleasure to watch. There are so many little shots that show a little touch that enhances the story and moves it along efficiently.

Even though the whole is absorbing, it is also touching to think that Bening and Beatty were together when making this, and unlike some off-screen pairs who can't make it look like they're in love on-screen, they manage it quite nicely. It's an amusing parallel when they use old pictures of Warren to illustrate his character, and like his character, he was a playboy who settled down.

It is a joy to see Katharine Hepburn on screen again, physical imperfections and all. The scenes at her house and the superb acting there make the rest of the movie believable, especially in the aspect of making the audience believe Mike might actually be able to finally settle down. My other favorite scenes are when Terri and Mike are talking on the upper deck in the rain before the conga line interrupts, the party right before that, the conversation as they're flying into New York and in the terminal, and naturally the final scene.

Since I never was the social butterfly type like Mike, Terri's steadiness tends to be easier for me to identify with. I also love her intelligence and deft handling of Mike in the early parts of the movie. In any case, there are so many human moments in the film that it is quite amazing it holds them all. I've heard that Carrie Fisher did some uncredited work on the script to polish it, and it didn't surprise me when I heard it.

I love the ideas in this film. The idea that people can step out of the comfort of their routines and personas and take a chance on loving someone else who on the surface might not be a good idea. Ginny's observations that "The trick in life isn't getting what you want, my dear, it's wanting it after you get it" and "But I'm not sure Michael is a duck, although he does do a pretty good imitation of one...impostors are usually desperate to behave like what they know they're not." The idea that we can love people despite their imperfections. The idea that love can and will overcome tragedy, and we can keep going.

It's a carefully assembled brew of funny and sad, touching moments and amusing ones, and it just works.

The Last Ten Years

A decade has come to an end, and as long as we keep consistent, I suppose that the popular idea that decades end with the nine becoming a zero is hardly worth arguing about. Psychologically speaking it is much more powerful than the 1-10 chronology.

This decade has ended on a sad chorus for me, first with the economy turning distinctly downhill and then with my dad passing the night before Thanksgiving and my grandmother on 12/29. I will miss them both, each for their own reasons. Reflecting on them, I think I managed to learn the best of their traits and avoid the less pleasant ones, although I have my own flaws and limitations.

Not being much in the mood to review a decade I would really rather have not endured, although I am glad for my friends in it, I will return to movies as a favorite subject and perhaps a mirror. I'm not going to try to list a 10 best of the decade, as I did not see many films that many people might put on such a list, and such a list is too short for the many excellent films that came out, and in any case I do not feel like judging such a list. I will instead list the films that touched me most deeply for one reason or another, and we'll see how long the list is. They will basically be in chronological order.


Cast Away

The story of a person isolated on an island, and how he survives and returns to civilization. More than anything it inspires one to never give up.

Amelie

This delightful tale of a young woman in Paris was a comfort and reminded me it was ok to just be oneself.

Possession

This was a delightful mix of romance, discovery of the past and parallel tales.

The Harry Potter films

A wonderfully done and involving set of tales set in a different world that is not so different in other ways, I have enjoyed these and the books in the series immensely.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

I liked this illustration of the power of weddings to merge not just two people, but two families and different cultures.

Under the Tuscan Sun

Although I don't have the nest egg to do something like this, the idea of starting over some place else has a powerful appeal, as much as I love Portland and the people I know here.

Pride and Prejudice

I actually saw two versions of this classic tale in this decade, as well as reading the book for the first time. I prefer the 1995 miniseries when I have the time to watch it, although the 2005 movie is also interesting. The story is a favorite in written or visual form. I think part of the appeal is that I never had any sisters in my immediate family, but that is a minor portion of it.

The Holiday

This one I enjoyed because of the mixture of travel and discovering people in new places.

Music and Lyrics

This one was really just the perfect blend of music and the lyrics of a budding relationship. My favorite moment is actually during the first part of the credits where she sweeps her stuff off of the piano as he is reaching to remove it yet again.

Juno

This movie was a delightfully funny look at an often sad subject, and I loved it because it got its laughs by letting a girl be intelligent and interact with other intelligent people without resorting to stupid pratfalls.

Definitely, Maybe

This was an enjoyable look at the choices we make in our relationships and learning what we really want.

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

This one came out at about the same time as Definitely, Maybe, and it appealed for similar reasons, even though the story was rather different and set back on a day at the eve of World War II instead of being spread out over a decade or more.

An Education

This one was about smart people and the choices they make and what they will and will not overlook, with an icing of second chances and what to do with them.


And a few more out of order that should be in the list upon further reflection:

Panic Room
Flightplan
V for Vendetta

I liked these three because they were about ordinary people pushed into corners who found the inner strength to get out of them.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

This was an extraordinary tale of long-ago China, and enjoyable on many levels, even with the ending.

Bladerunner

I will include this also, as we saw another cut released to theaters for the third decade in a row. I have always liked this movie for looking at what it means to be human.

The Bourne Trilogy
Casino Royale and Quantum of Silence

These films reinvented the spy action film genre and demonstrated that one could have characters driving the action instead of simply being cardboard cutouts. The also looked at how our memories shape who we are.

Stranger Than Fiction

This was a look at the characters we are and how we make choices, and a very intelligent film that gets to its ended based on the characters decisions rather than just a formula ending.


There were a number of other very good films over the last ten years. The ones I listed were movies that looked at what it is to be human and a person in society, and feel and care and make decisions based on that rather than just greed and selfishness. They showed that what we have inside is much more important than what we look like outside. They were movies that in at least a small but significant way managed to show me something about myself or something that I admired, in addition to being entertaining.

Two Worlds

One of the characters in fiction that has always fascinated me is Spock. Apart from the obvious intelligence, the main fascination is seeing someone living in the intersection of two worlds that are similar yet very different, and the challenges that presents. There is also the matter of the "conflict" between logic and emotion, which in a sense makes the character representative of all of us. We face daily choices between logic and emotion, what we want to do set against what we "should" do.

As Spock has said, "logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end". Logic is a tool for thought, but it can be misused, and using impersonal logic to make decisions without regard to how we feel about the choices is rarely the best course of action. We all have emotions, and the key is to be aware of them and master them rather than ignoring them completely. Spock's middle path between the human emotional response and the Vulcan way of logic has always seemed a careful dance.

For many people, life is also a dance of appearances. Like Spock, they are careful to keep an outward appearance of conformity to the roles they are expected to play, despite having other feelings to deal with inside. Most people have public worlds and private worlds that may be very different. Some are simply minor conflicts of personality, like someone managing others who is expected to be harsh with mistakes when they would consider it better to take the opportunity to teach and coach instead. Some are more distinct, like those whose desires do not meet society's expectations and they may not wish to make that clear to everyone else.

Others are simply different inside than their outward appearance would indicate, in a world where that sort of conflict is not accepted by others ignorant of the reality. They don't wish to have to think about how to relate to others, they just want to drop them into generic slots that they can have knee-jerk reactions to. Like Spock's mixed genetic heritage, people are not simply A or B in one aspect, or X or Y in another. There are broad spectrums of ability and talent, similarity of appearance, and even the hidden structures of the brain.

Add in variations of development, and the spectrum gets even larger. There are definitely clusters of results, but it is rather telling to observe the reactions of people to those who are outside of the main "normal" sections. Perhaps even more telling is each individual's expectations of what "normal" is. Spock appears to be Vulcan, but that does not mean that there is not a human part of his being hidden away under the skin. Appearances can be deceiving, and someone who looks perfectly normal may be trapped in an appearance that feels alien to them because their bodies did not develop with complete congruency.

Similarly, when people see someone that does not look normal, they often react badly to it and make incorrect assumptions about the person. Some times the differences are obvious, such as an incorrectly formed face or someone suffering from a disease. Sometimes the differences are "obvious" to some and not to others, such as those who care about skin colors and those who simply know it is just skin.

The important thing is to remember to treat others how you would like to be treated, and accept their differences from you or from what you expect as just that, differences. To paraphrase McCoy, "he's not a human or a Vulcan, he's a Spock".

The Irony of Being Physically Stuck Allowing the Mind to Unstick

The last three weeks have been a vacation away from my paying job, although the first two held quite a bit of laborious work packing up things for relatives and driving down to L.A. and back after the packing of the trailer. This last week I've been stuck at home due to the vast fields of snow and ice around me that prevented me from driving around or making it to work.

While I was in L.A., I was able to take time out to go see the exhibit of Vanity Fair portraits at LACMA. There were quite a variety of portraits and subjects on display, and a mix of photos I had seen before and ones I had not. The net result was to stir the imagination up a bit.

While being stuck here, I've gone through various stages of shortening the stack of unread books, watching movies, browsing the net, looking through the collections of photos I've gathered over the years, both ones I've taken myself and ones that I have seen on the web, and finally simple bored pacing around my prison, contemplating the walls of both it and life.

It's quite amazing what can come out of the recesses of the mind when one gets bored enough and the tangled cobwebs of ordinary concerns fade into the darkness. While thinking through a lot of things, I actually had an idea penetrate the wall of creativity block that has been frustrating me for quite a while now.

When contemplating a larger project such as a novel or a collection of photos, it helps to have a core idea to work around. That bit has been what has been missing and making me feel very constrained in these areas of writing and photography that I love. I had been expecting such inspiration to fly out in terms of a story, but I surprised myself by coming up with something else.

I finally came up with a pair of related and interacting themes that have been interesting to me for a while photographically, both in my own photos and others, although I had not put them together previously. What I'm aiming to do is put together a set of photos exploring those interactions and juxtapositions.

As an added bonus, I'll have to come out of my shell a bit and get others involved, because many of the photos I have in my head will require people to be in them and pose, as well as plenty of setup. Some of the images in the set may end up being spur of the moment shots, since I'm normally looking out for such things anyway, but it has become obvious that I want to move past that and make more complicated images.

To get the print quality I want I'll need to get a better camera system, not as nice as I'd like probably, but better than what I have now is a definite must. It will take some time to think through what I want to include and do the prep work for it anyway. I'm aiming for a gallery or a coffee book sort of thing, although in a sense it does not matter. This is for me.

Life in a surreal world

Life is full of twists and turns, and I've been rather delinquent in updating this. Yes, I have put a lot of effort into things at work, but still.

In the meantime, we find ourselves in a twisted world where Obama is elected but not actually in office yet, and despite that slight handicap, still probably has more of an effect on the world than his predecessor. A pale shadow of what is to come most likely, but still. I could go on about the insanity of the incompetent corporate gamblers getting bailed out instead of the rest of the vast population, but I'm too tired of it all.

Fall is probably my favorite season, with the all too brief brilliance of the changing leaves, the crisp noise they make when stepped on while dry, the way they swirl in the wind. The cooler temperatures are a welcome relief from the summer heat, and allow one to drag out fall clothes again. I might even try to add a comfortable tweed coat to the mix, as I'm finally getting the urge to start dressing a bit more up, although I'm nowhere near the collecting of designer suits stage. One of the nice things about getting older is that I recognize more of what I want, as opposed to looking at what everyone else is wearing. I'm also finding myself more willing to experiment and try new things.

At the same time, I find myself missing my favorite fashions that I thought I would try some day, which have been swept away in the tidal waves following the youthful whims. I never cared much for the endless silly tweaks of fashion seasons, ever changing - don't get me wrong, some change is good - and the trends these days towards more and more unkempt attire, deliberately ill-fitting, and even worn out before it is sold in the first place. I don't advocate spending a couple of hours a day arranging every hair and button just so, but at the same time, when the standard is to look like you didn't even try, we're loosing something in the process.

There are times and places for such looks, but they have spread through so much of life it is hard to tell anymore. Instead of growing out of such phases, they seem to be trying to extend their reach. Anyway, enough of a minor rant, I'm going to be me, let them be them, and hope that their apparent lack of clothing care and sense doesn't indicate a lack of care and sense in other things. I suppose helping to elect Obama was a good sign, let's hope it keeps going in that direction.