Tech support amusements

As those who have read my profile know, I do tech support for a living. Over the years, I've done support via email on a couple of different contracts, and been quite amused by some of the submissions and responses. I was reminded of one of my favorites by some printer woes I noticed on Twitter.

For a little background, we were North American support officially. Since we were also the only email support group, if someone elsewhere in the world emailed us about a printer we supported, and did so in English, we would try to help them. We had a polite Australian customer who submitted a case for an old printer that was no longer supported. We replied to let him know that, along with some generic suggestions that might fix the problems he was seeing.

Here is his gem of a reply, edited only to remove the models and names:

Support Team,

Thanks for the suggestions re the printing problems with the old model printer.

Problem is solved. Third floor balcony. Gravity. Concrete landing area.
Sudden stop.

The bastard will self-park and stop printing jobs on me no more !

Yesterday afternoon, local store introduced me, via my credit card, to
a new model printer of yours. I intend for us to become good friends.
By way of introduction and incentive, we walked into the building past the broken remains of the old printer.

The new one hasn't missed a beat since !

Naturally, we forwarded that one up the chain as a happy customer.